Don't be afraid that you are not smart


In the WeChat public number backstage receives a net friend's question: I am a person who likes diligently and the upward progress, but I am very afraid other people to know that I am working hard. I found myself in high school, University, when they like to hide their own efforts to read and learn. The first year, to participate in the work of the meet the holidays, colleagues and friends about me out, I was ready to test the accounting certificate, but want to read at home, and they did not dare to tell the truth, he said he was sick and couldn't go to. Later, my colleagues asked me how to prepare for the exam, how to read the book, I told a lie, I did not see how, but also specifically to show a very easy way to look, the day I was so much effort, more anxiety. I am still very afraid of others know that I am working hard, I am also afraid of others know that I will study hard, I actually very stupid stupid. Excuse me, this is how a kind of psychology? Can you help me with this?
See this question, I think of a friend Wang and I said a thing. Xiao Wang has a high school classmate called small E. He is a boy, often sleeping in physics and math class, the other class although he did not sleep, but also do not pay attention in class, students often find seat talk, or a joke, he also played in the recess time, read books, and chat with other students to study hard the classmates, he will say: don't try so hard to relax. Because his grades are very good, especially in physics and math are top of the class, so he sleep in class, do not concentrate on such behaviors not only disadvantages, but to prove his clever. Some classmates called him "Morpheus", meaning "sleep can also test the good God, some classmates said he is" a genius". Wang said to me, I have always thought that, in the heart very admire him, although I was very good at that time, but I think he is a "book", as he is clever.
College entrance examination after the end of a gathering of students, small E small E roommate said that time often at night with a flashlight reading late into the night one or two o'clock in the nest, or hide in the toilet to do to buy their own questions. Hear these, then Wang shocked.
In the US, like many small E students, their appearance is a nonstriving, easily contented look, listen to the class, class to sleep, but secretly home stay up hard, strive for progress with determination, learning everyone back, then every exam to get good grades.
Why do you want to sneak in? Why can not let others know that they are trying to do? Why not try to work in just ways, in a flagrant way?
The reason they do this is mostly to gain the attention, admiration, recognition and worship of others.
Our social values, although the recognition of a person's efforts, but more in favor of a person's intelligence, such as a lot of parents, teachers are more like a clever child. If a person is not how to learn, but can test scores, will give people the feeling of smart. Smart and like a natural advantage, like genius, is a cut above others, out of the ordinary. So many children in high school is to pretend not to internalize the adult values, wants to get a "smart" appreciation, once acquired, he is often easily intoxicated or rely on this "smart" appreciation, then continue to disguise themselves, if things go on like this, exhausted.
Why are you tired? You think about it, in the school, the students together is a lot of time, others in the study, you have to pretend to play, it will waste a lot of your time. When people can't see you, that is, others sleep, rest, you work hard, you work hard time or become short, or will sacrifice their own time to rest. As a result, a long time, the natural physical and mental fatigue.
The act of pretending to be a man who loses himself. If a person is too concerned about other people's evaluation of their own, to seek the outside world for their own recognition, he is easy to get the attention and recognition of others and lost self.
Many people do not work hard on the surface, the secret is very hard for another reason is likely to be a lack of confidence, fear of failure to face their own. If a person looks very hard, but he did not test well, that he failed, his heart will have a lot of frustration, and worried that others will laugh at themselves, feel that he is a stupid person.
Pretending not to work out the risks. A person pretending not to work hard, to give people the feeling is not invested, if he did not test well, we will say, because he did not study hard, do not invest, he will fail, he is not stupid." "He's really smart, as long as he's working hard." Because most of his time in a day are not hard, just to hide a fraction of the time, if I do not do well, he can also give their failure to find a reason: "I haven't go all out, if I work hard, I will succeed." This fantasy is a great comfort to those who are afraid of failure. For them, pretending not to work hard is a strategy to protect themselves from failure.
A method to pretend not to many students are also faced with academic competition, want to own hard appearance paralysis rival students, to relax, so he secretly to win in the competition. This may be with us




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